My Gratitude

nah.. now, I could do nothing more than giving thanks.. this holiday is really great for me. I've learned so much in this.. emm.. 21 days, much more than I've imagined before. It's like the fresh air that blows and makes my days lighter. I've been more, yes, lighter, positive, and happier than the other years I've experienced in my entire life. I don't know exactly why, but let's think that God has made His way for me. It is what I'm wishing to have for a long time ago, and finally, He gives it to me. It is not complete yet--I still can change and grow and be better than today--but I really am grateful to be able to face these days this way. I wish this can stay longer. Thank You, my Lord..

Inspiring People

hello. has been calmer and more.. thoughtful today. maybe that's why I want to write? Or maybe.. because there's so many things to tell today.

Yes, today is a journey. Both inside and outside journey. I've seen much. I've felt much. So many emotional things. 

Insecurity. That's what I felt this morning. I thought, I hate myself. Then I saw those two siblings in the church. I knew them. They are the two sisters which looks so much alike that I cannot even differ them both. They are.. confident. Confident enough to make me see, that look is nothing more important than everything inside, than how you think and behave. That the most important thing in one's self is what you do, not how you look. See, how those two siblings had changed my thought and mood so much, even when they didn't do anything. They just stayed on their spot, and keep being awesome. Keep being themselves. 

Maybe you can do it too. When you have enough confidence, and enough strength, and enough in everything needed to inspire people, you will inspire people. Even when you only standing still somewhere. Even when you're dead.

And how I wish I could be like that. *_*

The Standard of Beauty

That day, when I was in a saloon having my hair treated, I realized that the money I spent on that is quite much. Then I told myself that it's okay, this time only, because I'm on my journey to be a beautiful girl.. so someday, I'll be able to meet the standard of beauty that people admit. Then, I saw my reflection in the mirror and suddenly realized something. there's no such thing as standard of beauty. there's no limitation to be called beautiful. because every woman is already beautiful in their own way. you are already beautiful, so what are you trying to change? That's it.

Perjuangan

Kau tahu arti perjuangan?
Jatuh dan bangun, jatuh dan bangun lagi.
Aku sering jatuh. Sering bangun. Kadang menyerah. Kadang bertahan.
Apa yang kuperjuangkan, kalian mungkin tidak tahu.
Karena aku seringkali berjalan sendiri,
tidak ingin berbagi.
Karena pikirku, akankah kalian mengerti?
Akankah kalian menerimanya?
Kalau boleh kusarankan, jangan seperti aku.
Berjuang sendiri itu, tidak enak.
Melelahkan, menyakitkan.
Padahal, Tuhan sudah ciptakan beberapa teman.
Lalu, untuk apa,
Kalau tidak diajak berjalan bersama?

Christmas is Coming, But...

Hey, Christmas is coming!
Yeah, sudah tanggal satu. Satu DESEMBER. Bulan yang ditunggu-tunggu kebanyakan orang. Termasuk aku.
Sudah hampir natal, sudah hampir pulang ke rumah, dan.. sudah hampir UAS. Jujur, belum siap. Terlalu banyak distraksi, dari dalam maupun dari luar. Banyak buku yang belum dibaca, banyak konsep yang belum benar-benar didalami seperti biasanya. Jadi takut, apakah nilaiku masih akan sama seperti UTS kemarin. Turunkah? Stabilkah? Ah, Tuhan, aku ingin nilai yang bagus. Aku seharusnya tidak di sini, seharian bermain internet dan mengabaikan semua kewajiban. Sekarang ini, terlalu banyak waktu luang yang dipakai untuk hal-hal tidak berguna. Padahal, waktu itu berharga sekali. SANGAT. Kalau begini terus, bisa-bisa aku kelabakan waktu sudah H-3 atau 4.
Entahlah, aku butuh motivasi, butuh semangat. Butuh waktu bermain juga. Butuh rehat. Terlalu banyak yang dipikirkan, pelajaran jadi terlantar. Maafkan aku..