Gained My Strengths Back!

I gain my strengths back!
I gain my passion in my subject back, thank God.
I just have to find the right stimuli - and the right environment.
Find real books to read, meet real lecturer who teach real lessons--not common sense and common knowledge.
I can learn from this Rancho in 3 Idiots, that we're not striving for scores, we strive for knowledge.
And now, I can read this Social Research Methods book in a very high enthusiasm. Just like the first times.
Ah, I really love this..

picture source : pinterest

Sampai Kapan?

I don't know. Sampai kapan aku mau marah begini?
Aku ingin jadi diriku sendiri.
Aku ingin orang-orang memperlakukanku sebagai diriku sendiri.
Bukan sebagai topeng yang kupakai.
Mungkin salahku.. I made that mask.
I made people treat me like that.
I did it.
So maybe I should open that mask...
This time for real..

Ah.. Still Confused..

Some people say, I actually am a genius (the word 'genius' is too high I guess, maybe just 'smart' can do).

But why do they treat me like an idiot?

Like they are always and always smarter than me?

Unlike other people, I always thrive to understand things. Deeper.

Sometimes I wonder if they really understand those things or not.

But they don't even realize.. that they actually don’t understand.

For example, they actually don’t understand those lessons the way they should be understood.

And they thought what they know is enough. But it is not.

So why am I the stupidest of all?

Is it because I forget things?

Is it because I can’t comprehend to what they said?

Is it because I always have different way of thinking than theirs, so it’s kinda hard to explain to me something in their way of thinking, or vice versa?

Or am I just suck in communication? And social life?
Or is it because I always act foolish? And make myself a clown?

So what’s the reason? What is it?

-this post is edited already. the words are nicer than before. hoho. *santa's laugh* - 

A Little Black Bird In a Sad, Young Man's Hand - Song Writing

So I wrote a song again. Not a common genre, but my genre. 
Lagunya bercerita tentang seorang laki-laki yang selalu gagal dalam cinta. Terlalu lelah untuk mencoba lagi, namun merindukan kasih sayang dan hati untuk disayangi. Tentang seekor burung yang terluka, tidak mampu terbang lagi, namun merindukan rumah yang entah di mana. Soundcloudnya akan kuupload kalau sudah sempat. Enjoy :)

There's a story about
A little black bird
With broken wings
And a wounded feet
Who knows, who knows
How many miles he has been through
Far away from his home

And there's this sad young man
With a broken heart
Too tired to try again
Who knows, who knows
How many miles he has been through
Longing for someone to be called 'home'

A little black bird in a sad, young man's hand
Both have the same wish in their hearts (to be home)
Too tired, too scattered, to even fly or try again
For they have fall to hard,
And all their hopes are gone
Can't we go home?

So they sat for a while
Healing each other's wound
With no words, only silence
Just knowing that they're not alone

A little black bird in a sad, young man's hand
Both have the same wish in their hearts (to be home)
Too tired, too scattered, but hope has come to live their eyes
Now they can stand
They can jump
And they can fly

Now can we go home?

Once You Open Your Mask..

Found something today :
Once you open your mask, and simply be yourself, you'll realize that you'll no longer be surrounded by people who you actually don't want to be with.
When you open your mask, people who actually wants to be with the real you will eventually get closer.
When you know who you are, the right place and the right people will find you out.