This is almost midnight. People have gone to sleep, and I planned to. But these thoughts are making me sad. I don't know. I don't know how to fight them.. yet.
The problem is, I can't differ. Which one is right? Which one is wrong? Even if I could, then i couldn't find anybody here who has the same thought with me. The same way of thinking. God, could You send one, please? I feel so miserable here, so many people makes me think that they are right, and I am.. weird. Yes, they call us weird. Is it true, God? Or is it just they who have such a dumb head? Maybe, this is just not my place? I just don't belong here and I don't need to fit in. I'm confused, God. Do I have to change? If I don't, it's quite hard to survive. Way too hard! Nobody stands by me. Nobody seems to understand my thoughts. Nobody seems to be the same with me. Send me one, God. Send me one.. I need them. Soon. I'm begging..
-a midnight in my room, filled with confusion and dried tears. a personal diary you shouldn't read. it is me who's dumb, to write it here is a stupidity, but it still felt urgent anyway. i just need to write it here idk why-
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